LISTEN TO THIS: Jennifer Hudson's Sex and the City Song



Jennifer Hudson is not only appearing in the Sex and the City movie – but the Dreamgirls Oscar-winner is lending her vocals to the film's soundtrack, as well. People.com has the official first listen of Hudson's song "All Dressed in Love," available May 27.

Listen to it here:

The energetic track showcases the former American Idol contestant's powerful voice over horns, piano and string arrangements, which contribute to its disco-era feel. The song was written by MC Jack Splash and Gnarls Barkley's Cee-Lo Green.

The Sex and the City: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack also features a song by Fergie, who contributes the re-imagined theme song, and India.Arie, who covers Don Henley's "Heart of the Matter," which is streaming on the official SATC Web site.

Sarah Jessica Parker Praises Hudson's Role
In the film, Hudson, 26, plays Louise, the assistant of SATC star Sarah Jessica Parker's character Carrie Bradshaw. Parker, who also produced the film, says it was important to have a woman of color and a 20-something character in the mix.

"[Director] Michael [Patrick King] had a real instinct that first of all we needed to have a 20-year-old in this movie. We have to remember that there is a significant audience now because of syndication that has hooked into this show that are very, very young and it's a great way of reminding people of who Carrie was when she first came to New York," Parker explains on AMC's Shootout, airing Sunday.

Parker also praises the casting of Hudson. "African-American women and women of color have been a big part of the audience for a long time. We really haven't been responsible to them in a way and we haven't given a woman of color an important and significant role and she is especially lovely in this movie," she says. "She is steady and womanly and gorgeous."

Sex and the City hits theaters on May 30.

Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo Still in Play



The breakup buzz keeps getting louder for Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo. But her camp is shooting down the split rumors.

“Not true, not true,” Simpson’s rep tells me. “I spoke to Jess yesterday and the day before. They are still together.”

And while Romo spent the weekend in Chicago, sans Jess, expect a reunion any minute now: The quarterback will be Simpson’s date when little sister Ashlee marries Pete Wentz this weekend, a source tells me.

But what about those photos that hit the Web today of Romo partying in the Windy City with a mystery blonde?

There was no hanky-panky, another source tells me. In fact, the source reports, the young woman has a serious boyfriend: “She’s a doll and they did have fun at the club, but nothing happened with Tony!”

From the Mind of Oprah Springs...Spaniels



The Britney-giving-birth-on-a-bearskin-rug guy has done it again.

Sculptor Daniel Edwards, also responsible for Paris Hilton Autopsy, has fashioned a new conversation piece, this time a bust of Oprah Winfrey with "puppy versions" of her beloved late cocker spaniel, Sophie, and golden Lab, Gracie, perched atop her head.

Memories of Sophie and Gracie: A Puppies Memorial is a tribute to Winfrey's feelings for her dogs and also a reminder to all pet lovers to do what they can to prevent premature canine fatalities, Edwards says. (Sophie died in March of kidney failure, but Gracie choked on a ball last year.)

Explains John Leo, codirector of New York's Leo Kesting Gallery, a regular Edwards exhibitor: "To represent Sophie and Gracie together, joined in Oprah's memory as they were in life and in Oprah's heart, the artist depicted them as conjoined at the hip and sharing a common tail."

Nope, nothing weird about that.

Mario Lopez Likes to Get Naked



Mario Lopez has nothing to be ashamed about when it comes to his body.

But even he has his limits.

The former Dancing With the Stars contestant told me Playgirl has come calling. “I politely declined,” he said with a laugh. “It’s not something for me at the moment. But it’s ironic, because I’m, like, ‘nature boy.’ I’m always running around the house in underwear or nothing.”

Lopez didn’t invite me to hang at his place, but no matter. Just check out his new book, Mario Lopez’s Knockout Fitness.

You’ll see why the New York Post’s Page Six has dubbed the one-time Saved by the Bell teen heartthrob “Flex.”

And while Lopez, currently starring on Broadway as Zach in A Chorus Line but in L.A. tomorrow for a booksigning at the Grove mall, has never divulged too much about his relationship with his DWTS partner girlfriend, Karina Smirnoff, the book shows them in action.

No, not that kind of action!

There’s a chapter dedicated to a dance workout featuring step-by-step photos of the happy couple.

So what about the never-ending breakup rumors? “Is there another one?” Lopez said, laughing again. “I get a kick out of them. I think they’re funny. I think it just kind of comes with the territory. I don’t really put too much thought into it.”

Dennis Quaid Takes a Stand on Twins' Behalf



Dennis Quaid was a man on a mission today.

Motivated by the pain experienced by his own family, the actor testified before Congress Wednesday about the overdose of blood thinners his newborn twins were given at Los Angeles' Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in November, which led to his current lawsuit against heparin maker Baxter Healthcare Corp.

Taking away individuals' rights to take pharmaceutical companies to court and hold them accountable for their actions would turn consumers into "uninformed and uncompensated lab rats," Quaid said.

In an effort to ward off costly, time-consuming litigation, the Food and Drug Administration has argued in the past on the behalf of the drug makers that federal regulation supersedes the need for state action.

But Quaid, having seen firsthand that government oversight leaves plenty of room for error, doesn't agree.

"Like many Americans, I believed that a big problem in our country was frivolous lawsuits," Quaid testified. "But now I know that the courts are often the only path to justice."

Dolly "Shocked" by the Shock-Jock Treatment



Dolly Parton doesn't care to be just one of the pack. The Wack Pack, that is.

The iconic country star has taken major, major offense at one of the Sirius Satellite Radio-approved bits presented frequently on Howard Stern's morning show, in which his crackerjack producers mash up celebrity quotes to make it sound as if the star in question has just said something totally raunchy—treatment that has been given in the past to statements made by William Shatner, Oprah, Stern show regular George Takei and others.

All of which is usually pretty funny, albeit gross.

But instead of laughing, Parton is now threatening to sue Stern for making it sound as if she liberally spewed racist and racy sentiments.

"I have never been so shocked, hurt and humiliated in all my life," the 9 to 5 star said Wednesday in a statement released by her rep. "I cannot believe what Howard Stern has done to me. In a blue million years, I would never have such vulgar things come out of my mouth. They have done editing or some sort of trickery to make this horrible, horrible thing.

"Please accept my apology for them and certainly know I had nothing to do with this. If there was ever going to be a lawsuit, it’s going to be over this. Just wanted you to know that I am completely devastated by this."

So what was it that so embarrassed and offended the sweet-natured songstress?

"I don't know if I even want to repeat it," not-easily-fazed Stern-show personality Richard Christy, one of the mix masters himself, told a Howard 100 News reporter today.

Colin Farrell's Frightening Frame



Colin Farrell is losin' it—literally!

The Miami Vice star was spotted in Spain while meeting up with some friends for dinner. But from the looks of this picture, it's probably safe to say the one-time beefcake didn't eat much meat...or anything else for that matter.

Word has it, though, that Colin is simply doing the method thing for the drama he's currently shooting titled Triage.

The film finds the 31-year-old actor playing a U.S. photographer whose life spirals downward upon returning home after covering a small war in late-1980s Kurdistan.

Let's just hope they have plenty of food at the wrap party, because somebody's gonna be starving!

Fit for a McQueen



Janet Jackson was at last night’s opening of Alexander McQueen’s new store in Los Angeles. So were Balthazar Getty, Eve, Anthony Kiedis, Ioan Gruffudd and Sex and the City hunk Jason Lewis.

But the spotlight was definitely centered on Beth Ditto and her band, Gossip.

The singer's five-song set was hands-in-the-air fun! She wore custom McQueen: a form-hugging red sequined bodysuit (later changing into a rainbow colored butterfly-printed chiffon number); she swiped cigarettes from fans so she could smoke while singing; she grabbed a photographer’s camera to take some pics and even climbed on top of a very unsteady table to rally the crowd to sing along with her.

But even the 27-year-old has her limits...

When someone offered her a glass of bubbly, she politely declined, explaining, “I have to go to Arkansas tomorrow. It’s my brother’s graduation.”

McQueen’s shop sits on Melrose Avenue, just steps away from other high-end boutiques, like Marc Jacobs and Diane Von Furstenberg stores.

If last night was any indication, Mr. McQueen is going to have no trouble fitting in.

Within minutes of arriving, I spotted Rebecca De Mornay whipping out a credit card to buy a $315 black pashmina-like wrap with outlines of red skulls. She wore it for the rest of the evening.

Lawyers: Keep Keanu Depo Under Wraps



Keanu Reeves is hoping to keep his latest project out of wide release.

Lawyers for the 43-year-old actor are asking a Los Angeles judge to keep any videotaped deposition of Reeves under wraps.

The Matrix star is facing a suit from paparazzo Alison Silva, who says he was purposefully knocked down by Reeves' Porsche last November, resulting in "serious injuries" that caused pain and suffering and severely limited the photog's earnings capacity. Silva is seeking unspecified damages and his counsel wants to depose Reeves to prove allegations of negligence, assault and battery.

The thesp's lawyer, David J. Ozeran, filed a motion with Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Elizabeth A. Grimes to keep both the deposition and transcripts away out of public view, fearing it would be an unexcellent adventure for the Bill & Ted player.

"If obtained by the media, the videotape will undoubtedly by analyzed frame by frame in an attempt to embarrass Mr. Reeves," the petition states. "Similarly, the transcript of the deposition will be analyzed line by line for any embarrassing or awkward response or misstatement on the part of Mr. Reeves."

Before being hired by Reeves, Ozeran's firm successfully won a court order sealing a Lindsay Lohan's deposition in a suit brought by a busboy after a traffic mishap. The actress wound up settling before she could be deposed.

Denise's Child Support Loses Its Sheen



Just when it seemed like Denise Richards' divorce from Charlie Sheen couldn't get any more contentious...enter Ryan Seacrest.

The E! News anchor and executive producer of Denise Richards: It's Complicated spoke with the actress on his KIIS-FM radio show this morning, getting the future reality star to openly—perhaps too openly—discuss the status of her relationship, or lack thereof, with Sheen.

Spoiler alert: It ain't good.

"He just cut me off of child support last week," Richards said. "He doesn't want my kids to have vaccines and shots, but that's a whole other issue. So whatever."

There was no immediate comment from the Sheen camp.

This is the latest bit of acrimony to rear its ugly head in the even uglier split, though for those following the finer points of the former couple's rapidly downward trajectory, it hardly comes as a surprise.

"We don't speak—at all," she said of her contact with Sheen, adding that she has suggested they "see a mediator and just put our stuff aside."

"It's sad for our kids, if nothing else. It's a very conflicted divorce. It's not healthy for the children...Charlie and I don't agree on much these days."

Their lawyers, however, are on very good speaking terms, communicating regularly on the topic of their two daughters, Sam and Lola Rose, appearing in her E! reality show, something a judge gave the legal OK to earlier this year. (E! Online is a division of E! Entertainment Television.)

Richards defended her decision to include her children in the show, saying, "I want it to be a reality show, and the reality is, I'm a single mom to two beautiful girls."

As for Sheen's adamant opposition to the idea...

"That's a hard thing to talk about, except for the fact that I was confused about his reasons because we never made a decision to shield our girls from the media. We were on the cover of People magazine as soon as Sam was born.

"And also, Sam was on Two and a Half Men during sweeps when she was just 8 months old...So I didn't understand. If we had made the decision as a couple—You know what? We're just gonna keep them out of the press and all that—then I'd understand. But this, I didn't. It was inconsistent."

Less inconsistent and more incomprehensible, at least to Richards, was Sheen's lack of support during the recent death of her mother, an event which left the actress devastated.

"The god's honest truth was, he said, 'I hope you die with her.' It was awful, awful. And to not be there for the memorial...forget me, but the kids. That's their Nana. My mom was the closest person to my girls after myself and Charlie. So no, we don't speak at all."

Despite all the negatives to come from their ill-fated marriage, and there are numerous negatives, Richards said her time with Sheen did teach her one thing for the better.

"I think sometimes we think men are not bad boys until bad stuff happens. I personally think I've learned my lesson."

Jackson's Thriller a National Treasure



HIStory, indeed.

Michael Jackson's Thriller, the 1982 album that turned the Gloved One into a pop superstar and went on to become the biggest-selling record of all time, is among 25 musical works selected today by the Library of Congress to be preserved in perpetuity.

Thriller and the two dozen other recordings added the National Recording Registry were deemed "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant" to America's aural history.

Thriller spent a year in the Top 10 of the Billboard album charts, spawned seven Top 10 singles and sold upwards of 100 million copies worldwide. A 25th anniversary edition was released last year.

Other notable inductees: the 1956 original cast recording of My Fair Lady; Roy Orbison's 1964 signature hit, "Oh, Pretty Woman"; Smokey Robinson & the Miracles' 1965 gem "Tracks of My Tears"; Joni Mitchell's 1972 album For the Roses; and Herbie Hancock's 1973 jazz fusion smash, Headhunters.

The latest batch brings to 250 the number of recordings contained in the registry. The full list of new additions after the jump.

1. The first trans-Atlantic broadcast (March 14, 1925)
2. "Allons a Lafayette," Joseph Falcon (1928)
3. "Casta Diva," from Bellini's "Norma"; Rosa Ponselle, accompanied by the Metropolitan Opera Orchestra and Chorus, conducted by Giulio Setti. (recorded Dec. 31, 1928, and Jan. 30, 1929)
4. "If I Could Hear My Mother Pray Again," Thomas A. Dorsey (1934)
5. "Sweet Lorraine," Art Tatum (Feb. 22, 1940)
6. "Fibber's Closet Opens for the First Time," Fibber McGee and Molly radio program (March 4, 1940)
7. Wings Over Jordan, Wings Over Jordan (1941)
8. Fiorello LaGuardia reading the comics (1945)
9. "Call It Stormy Monday, but Tuesday Is Just As Bad," T-Bone Walker (1947)
10. Harry S. Truman speech at the 1948 Democratic National Convention (July 15, 1948)
11. The Jazz Scene, various artists (1949)
12. "It Wasn't God Who Made Honky-Tonk Angels," Kitty Wells (May 30, 1952)
13. My Fair Lady, original cast recording (1956)
14. Navajo Shootingway Ceremony Field Recordings, recorded by David McAllester (1957-1958)
15. Freight Train and Other North Carolina Folk Songs and Tunes, Elizabeth Cotten (1959)
16. Marine Band Concert Album to Help Benefit the National Cultural Center (1963)
17. "Oh, Pretty Woman," Roy Orbison (1964)
18. "Tracks of My Tears," Smokey Robinson and the Miracles (1965)
19. "You'll Sing a Song, and I'll Sing a Song," Ella Jenkins (1966)
20. Music from the Morning of the World, various artists; recorded by David Lewiston (1966)
21. For the Roses, Joni Mitchell (1972)
22. Headhunters, Herbie Hancock (1973)
23. Ronald Reagan Radio Broadcasts (1976-1979)
24. "The Sounds of Earth," disc prepared for the Voyager spacecraft (1977)
25. Thriller, Michael Jackson (1982)

Miley's Got Milk



Miley Cyrus is back in front of the camera, only this time for a much more wholesome cause. And not, it seems, a moment too soon.

Disney's tween queen is the latest celeb to don a dairy 'stache for the ubiquitous Got Milk? campaign.

Titled "Girl Power," the ad, a necessary and well-timed departure from her Vanity Fair photo session, reads: "Actress by day. Rocker by night. I've got to keep fit to keep up. So I drink milk. Some studies suggest that teens who choose milk over sugary drinks tend to be leaner and the protein helps build muscle. It's the best of both worlds."

With any luck, Cyrus' milk campaign won't just build bones—it'll also assuage some achy-breaky parent hearts.

Natalie Portman Cannes Do



Cannes is ready for its close-up. The 61st International Film Festival kicks off today and the celebs are pouring in to the French town for all the film-biz fabulousness—including jury member Natalie Portman, who looks like a kid arriving at camp. (The 26-year-old could make a killing endorsing antiaging products, um, if she wasn't so successful at this acting thing.)

Also milling around today are Sean Penn, who heads up the jury panel, Jack Black, promoting Kung Fu Panda, and Julianne Moore, who opened the film fest with her newest movie, Blindness.

And we love 'em all, but we're busy scanning the crowds for Brangelina, who we're assuming will show based on the simple fact that they already live in France. (Hey, it's just a limo ride away.) Plus, she has two movies playing in the festival, Kung Fu Panda and Clint Eastwood's Changeling. Seems like a sure thing, n'est-ce pas?

Bad Day to Be a Vampire



The fall will not rise for Moonlight.

As first reported yesterday by E! Online's Kristin Dos Santos, the cult favorite vampire-detective show was one of a handful of series that didn't make the cut today as CBS unveiled its new fall schedule. Others: James Woods' Shark and controversy's Kid Nation.

Elsewhere, cable's TNT announced plans to challenge the broadcast networks with three nights of original programming by 2010, and touted several proposed new series, including an Elvis impersonator-detective show from George Clooney and a new action-crime drama from the cocreator of 24.

CBS bubble shows whose bubbles did not burst, as they were invited back, included The New Adventures of Old Christine, How I Met Your Mother and The Unit.

Befitting its image as the network most married to the script, as it were, CBS will introduce five new scripted series, more than any network so far. (Fox, the last broadcast network on the board, issues its fall schedule tomorrow.)

The new CBS shows are:

* Worst Week, a Meet the Parents-aspiring sitcom;
* Project Gary, a divorced dad comedy starring Jay Mohr;
* The Mentalist, a procedural crime show with an Aussie twist starring Simon Baker;
* Eleventh Hour, with Rufus Sewell as a "brilliant" scientist that the brilliant government waits to the last minute—aka the eleventh hour—to call; and,
* The Ex List, an hourlong dramedy about a thirtysomething woman who, acting under the influence of a psychic, hunts down her ex-boyfriends to find her future husband.

Also more than any other network so far, CBS fiddled with the time slots of its returning shows. Come the fall, The Unit travels from Tuesdays to Sundays; Without a Trace shifts from Thursdays to Tuesdays; and, Christine trades Mondays for Wednesdays, where the network will try to establish a second comedy block.

Rules of Engagement will move from Mondays to the bench, where it'll remain until it's called up as a midseason replacement. CBS announced only one other midseason show: Harper's Island, a new murder mystery drama.

Thought not on the fall schedule, long-running reality series Big Brother will return as a summer series.

The Moonlight faithful, meanwhile, were not taking the news of Moonlight's cancellation well. Not were they taking it lying down.

"This is absolutely not the time to stop campaign or showing love for the show," read a post on the fansite Moonlight Fans. "…We're not going anywhere, and neither should you."

While it didn't lack for ardent viewers, Moonlight apparently lacked for enough viewers. The freshman drama was the weakest link on Friday night, averaging 7.5 million viewers, nearly 1 million fewer than its lead-in, Ghost Whisperer, and some 1.5 million fewer viewers than its 10 p.m. neighbor, Numb3rs.

Shark (10.4 million) put up better numbers than any of those three shows, and better numbers than any number of renewed ABC and NBC shows. Its reward: Out after two seasons.

CBS' long-expected, if not long-gone, casualties, included: Jericho; Cane; the spring comedy Welcome to the Captain; and, the one-and-done misfire Viva Laughlin.

Not to be left out, the Turner cable networks announced a batch of new shows and projects. TNT talked up six proposed shows, including Clooney's Delta Blues, and the untitled show from 24's Joel Surnow, called the Untitled Joel Surnow Project. TBS renewed 10 Items or Less, ordered 26 more episodes of the Tyler Perry comedy House of Payne, and said it was developing six new scripted and late-night shows, including a proposed half-hour comedy to star and be executive produced by William H. Macy.

John and Jen: A Love Continuum?



The temperature in the Sunshine State just keeps rising, thanks to this passionate duo.

Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer, who were spotted hooking up poolside at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel in Miami over the weekend, managed to slip in a quick smooch during the singer's concert in Orlando Tuesday night, according to People.

It seems that, just before going out for an encore at his show, John went backstage to where Jen was snapping shots of him and planted one on her.

Myers' Guru Still Not Feeling the Love



For something meant to be a comedy, Mike Myers' latest big-screen offering is certainly stirring up a lot of drama.

Just a few weeks after U.S.-based Hindu leaders—without even seeing the film—spoke out against the potentially offensive and religiously insensitive premise of The Love Guru, critics in India have banded together to request that the film be banned altogether from the country's cineplexes.

A representative for the influential Mumbai-based Janjagruti Samiti and Sanatan Society for Scientific Spirituality elaborated on previous complaints that the film plays into stereotypes and potentially ridicules the religion's beliefs.

"If the trailer is an indicator of the content of the movie...then we feel that this movie is most likely to hurt the sentiments of seekers from various spiritual paths...it will hurt the religious sentiments of millions of Hindus worldwide, who hold the 'Guru-disciple' relationship as sacred," Bhavna Shinde said in his plea.

"Poking fun is one thing, but if it creates a sense of belittling other's faith, then it is wrong."

Despite the public complaints, though, India's Central Board of Film Certification told the Hollywood Reporter that it has yet to receive a formal request from any group to block the film's release.

The idea to ban the film is neither far-fetched nor novel, as the prestigious British Film Institute has already acquiesced to the Hindu group's request, confirming that it will not be showing Myers' latest creation.

"Please rest assured that the BFI will not be screening this title nor will be involved with a possible release of it," BFI Press Officer Ilona Cheshire said Tuesday.

While that only prevents the film from being shown by the Institute, and not by Britain as a whole, it may still come as a bit of a blow to the erstwhile Austin Powers.

Paramount, meanwhile, claims the movie is simply an example of the noble art of satire and maintains that it will screen the film for various Hindu groups prior to the film's release, which has yet to nail down an overseas date but which is due out in the U.S. June 20.

The film itself revolves around India's second-best guru, Guru Pitka, who is paid to return to the U.S. to heal the broken heart of a hockey player so that his team can win the Stanley Cup.

Bad karma is one thing. Bad premise is something else entirely.

Winehouse Wriggles Out of Charges, Again



The arm of British law apparently isn't long enough to snare Amy Winehouse.

For the second time in as many months, the trouble-prone Grammy winner has evaded formal charges following a police investigation, this time in connection with a video showing the singer talking about, and allegedly taking, drugs.

"Police have confirmed that no action will be taken against Amy Winehouse in relation to an investigation into a video handed to them in January," the singer's rep, Tracey Millers, told E! News.

"Amy is pleased to be able to move on and concentrate on music and particularly looks forward to seeing her fans again at eagerly awaited festival performances this summer."

The 24-year-old was arrested in connection with a series of seemingly illicit goings-on on the video, first shown on the Sun tabloid's website in January and subsequently handed over to London's finest, after voluntarily turning up for questioning at a police station a week ago.

After grilling Winehouse for nine hours over the footage, which showed the "Rehab" crooner inhaling fumes from a pipe of unspecific origin, the Metropolitan Police released her on unconditional bail. While she was originally ordered to return to the police station later this month, she is no longer obligated to do so as the matter has been deemed closed by the cops.

The singer wasted no time getting back into the swing of things Tuesday night, joining equally beleaguered pal Pete Doherty in London to celebrate his first solo postlockup gig.

Also worth celebrating: Both managed to make it to Wednesday without being busted again.

Tori Puts Her Foot in It



Hey, look! Tori Spelling poses with her cute son, Liam, as part of Skechers' new Nothing Compares to Family campaign, which includes a charitable element.

That’s right, Tori Spelling—who famously feuded with her mother and got shafted during the doling out of her late father’s estate.

Um...Go family!

The Heat of 100 Hotties



Something's not adding up on Maxim's "ultimate list of the world’s most beautiful women.”

Case in point: Ashley Tisdale or Angelina Jolie? Tisdale or Gisele Bündchen? Tisdale or Tina Fey?

It’s no contest: Tisdale is No. 10 on the list, while Jolie, Bündchen and Fey don’t even make it. No offense to Sharpay, but something is wrong here. (We will, however, applaud G4's Olivia Munn at 99.)

As well, the editors clearly never forgot their first piece of American Pie, putting not one but two slices of the movie's cast on the list: cover girl Shannon Elizabeth and the inexplicable Mena Suvari. Had they included the divine Alyson Hannigan, we might have forgiven them, but...

This all seems so random. Why not add that girl you totally liked in junior high as well? Who knows, maybe she might call you now.

Also, we know it’s a list of hot ladies, but did the thesaurus up and quit ? How else to explain:

Elisha Cuthbert: "Hotter than a bowl of kimchi” (Note to Maxim: Yes, kimchi’s hot, but have you ever smelled this dish of spicy, fermented cabbage? It's not a compliment.)

Eva Longoria Parker: "Hotter than a truckload of jalapeños.” (Please.)

Sarah Michelle Gellar: "The sexiest vampire slayer this side of Van Helsing has never been hotter.” (Does this mean they think Hugh Jackman in a leather coat is sexier? Which list is this?)

With prose like this, you'd almost think Maxim doesn't expect subscribers to read this issue but will be content to simply drool over the pictures.

Oh...right.

Cage: Who's Bad?



Nicolas Cage is headed to the dark side.

The City of Angels star is set to headline a remake of Abel Ferrara's 1992's pulp classic Bad Lieutenant, which will be helmed by famed German auteur Werner Herzog.

Per Variety, the 44-year-old Cage will slink into the role originated by Harvey Keitel, an NYPD detective who investigates the rape of a young nun all the while seeking forgiveness for a litany of his own sins, including heavy drug use, gambling and cavorting with prostitutes.

The original Lieutenant, directed by Ferrara from a screenplay he cowrote with Zoë Lund, was slapped with an NC-17 rating for its explicit language and hard-core sex scenes, like the one in which Keitel's lapsed Catholic copper masturbates in front of a teenage girl. The redo was written by Billy Finkelstein, a vet of small-screen police dramas like NYPD Blue and Law & Order.

Cage is currently in Australia shooting the time-capsule thriller Knowing with Rose Byrne. Cameras roll on Bad Lieutenant this summer.

Jessica Simpson Tells Lies In Times Of Crisis



We can't blame Jessica Simpson for denying her split from Tony Romo.

She probably hasn't gotten over being dumped! It must sting, especially to go through something like that in public - again.

Despite her publicist dismissing reports of a split, even more media outlets are confirming news of the Simpson/Romo separation.

The Dallas Morning News is also reporting that Tony dumped Jess.

Says a columnist for the paper, "Two people close to Tony and Jess have told me that the glam couple is over, splitsville, kaput, put a fork in it."

And there you have it!

While Tony is busy macking on on chicks, Jessica is drowning her sorrows away.

Sad.

Big Janet News!



This fall is gonna be all about the DIVAS!

Janet Jackson is going to be joining Madonna and Tina Turner as they criss cross around America and the world in the Autumn.

That's right, Janet is going on tour!!!!!

What makes this especially exciting is that Miz Jackson hasn't hit the road since 2001. For those of you bad with math, that's SEVEN years ago….almost a DECADE!

So, expect this outing to be jam-packed with all the hits.

And, we're gonna have something very very special to announce soon with regards to the tour for all of you, our Perezcious readers.

Yay!!!!! Can't wait!

Buh Bye Drunkst!



Miu Miu has fired Kirsten Dunst as their spokeswhore.

And, they've just hired Johnny Depp's gal, Vanessa Paradis, to be their new face.

The fall campaign featuring the gap-toothed Mademoiselle Paradis will be shot by the famous fashion photogs Mert Alas and Marcus Pioggott.

A Miu Miu spokeswoman declined to comment.

We think she wanted to say, "We didn't want our brand repped by a dirty, rehabed hasbeen anymore."

Touche!

10 Years Too Late?



MTV's animated 90's show Beavis and Butthead could be making its way to the big screen as a live-action feature, according to creator Mike Judge.

Judge recalls that at one point Johnny Depp wanted to play Beavis – with Marlon Brando as Butthead.

How insanely brilliant would that have been????

“For some reason, I used to hate the idea for years,” says Judge of a live-action Beavis & Butthead. "Now, I think maybe there’s something there.”

Two names being bandied about are Sean William Scott and Napoleon Dynamite star Jon Heder.

We're not sure about this idea. Sounds like it could be really bad…and dated.

What do U think????

But He Smells… Bad!



Giorgio Armani is out to make some more money.

Last year, the firm introduced Emporio Armani Diamonds women's fragrance, which was represented by spokeswhore Beyonce Knowles.

Yea, we don't know anyone who purchased that either!

Beyonce ruins ads.

But now, Armani wants to appeal to the men. So, they have created a new scent that will be out this summer.

Hmm, coincidentally would it be out in time for Father's Day, we're guessing?

The new cologne will be called Emporio Armani Diamonds for Men.

And thankfully Beyonce won't be representing this one!

Instead - and quite unfortunately - they've opted to use dirty Josh Hartnett as the new face for the fragrance.

Yea, we still wouldn't buy it.

[Image via WENN.]

Cover Of The Week!



The new issue of Time Out New York.

Brills!

Getting Dirty Pays Off



Barbara Walters' memoir, Audition, has debuted in the #1 spot of the best seller's list.

Babs sold 250K copies in the first week alone, and she's already shipped out 1 million copies.

This proves that sex sells…even old people sex!

Did y'all buy the book to read about Bab's frolicks with that Senator guy?

Hearing about it via the Oprah interview was enough for us!

[Image via Fame Pictures.]

Don't Mess With Dolly



Last week, Howard Stern and his crew manipulated recordings from some Dolly Parton audio books into stuff that was seemingly racist and sexually graphic.

Well, Dolly's pissed!

Miz Parton just released the following statement through her reps:

I have never been so shocked, hurt and humiliated in all my life. I cannot believe what Howard Stern has done to me. In a blue million years, I would never have such vulgar things come out of my mouth. They have done editing or some sort of trickery to make this horrible, horrible thing. Please accept my apology for them and certainly know I had nothing to do with this. If there was ever going to be a lawsuit, it’s going to be over this. Just wanted you to know that I am completely devastated by this.

And there you have it.

We love Howard, but….

We love Dolly more!

American Idol 7 — Who Got Kicked Off?














SYESHA MERCADO! SYESHA MERCADO!

The first person safe after 56 million votes: David Archuleta

IT’S GOING TO BE A DAVID SHOWDOWN!

David Archuleta vs. David Cook


Top 3 sing Mcfadden and Whitehead’s 1979 hit “Ain’t No Stopping Us Now” (Watch here)

Top 3’s Ford commercial (Watch here)

Fantasia performs “Bore Me” in RED HAIR and BEJEWELED JUMPSUIT (Watch here)

Archuleta goes home and cries (Watch here)

Syesha goes home and cries (Watch here)

David Cook goes home and cries (Watch here)

Syesha is sent home!!! (Watch here)

Disgusting!



Cate Blanchett arrives at the Blindness premiere at the Palais des Festivals during the 61st International Cannes Film Festival on Wednesday.

She gave birth just four weeks ago!!!!!

And look at her body!

That's just wrong!

So jealous.

Eva Longoria Parker @ Cannes Film Festival 2008



Eva Longoria Parker (in Atelier Versace) joins Indian actress Aishwarya Rai and French actress Rachida Brakni at the opening night ceremony and premiere of the film Blindness during the 2008 Cannes Film Festivalin Cannes, France, on Wednesday.

Blindness is based on a book by Nobel winner Jose Saramago of Portugal and raises questions about human nature and the fragility of society.

“It’s as if civilization was built on a thin layer of ice that could crack at any moment,” director Fernando Meirelles said at a news conference. “It’s a ######phor on all the ills of the 20th century.”

Angelina Jolie: Twice the Cannes!



Angelina Jolie arrives at the Carlton Palace during the 2008 Cannes Film Festival on Wednesday in Cannes, France.

These pictures were taken moments before Angie officially announced that she was having twins. This happened while she and Jack Black were being interviewed for their new animated film, Kung Fu Panda.

“Yeah, yeah, we’ve confirmed that already,” Angie said. “Well, Jack [Black]’s just confirmed it actually.”

Why So Defensive?



You'd expect a successful designer like Italian icon Roberto Cavalli to be hard driving and cold, right?

But, Cavalli reveals to UK Vogue that he's actually a big softy.

Cavalli says, "I give into my emotions all the time. I cry easily, whether at a movie, music or vulnerable young animals, and I could never trust anyone who didn't do the same."

The design queen then goes on the defense, however, adding that "I have never been homosexual, and I never could be. What I love most is the amazing soft skin of a woman. She doesn't even have to be naked to excite me."

It's less believable when you over do it!

[Image via Mavrix Online.]

Busiest Kid on the Block



Donnie Whalberg is one busy bee!

He's going out with his old band New Kids on the Block for a reunion tour.

Plus, he'll be acting in AND producing a TNT crime drama called Morse Code, once the "Kids" summer outing is over.

The show is about a young war hero who returns to his hometown of Boston (Wahlberg's real hometown), where he works as a Drug Enforcement Administration officer.

Wicked good????

Hey, at least he keeps collecting those paychecks.

Smart!

Melrose 90210?



We can't stop talking about it - and it hasn't even aired yet!

According to TV Guide, the producers of 90210 (2.0) are having a hell of a time casting the role of dad to the 'new' Brenda and Brandon characters.

The actors who've come in to read for the part just don't fit what the producers have in mind.

With the production's start date growing ever nearer, show execs have reportedly begun considering desperate measures, even thinking of bypassing the audition process and just offering the role to a "name."

And, there is one "name" they're seriously considering above other….former Melrose Place star Rob Estes.

Do it Rob!

You're not doing anything, right?

And, while they're at it, they should totally find a way for Amanda Woodward to be on 90210 (2.0) too!!!!!

[Image via WENN.]

Gossip About This Girl



Sources reveal exclusively to Perez that Gossip Girl star Michelle Trachtenberg fainted yesterday during an event in NYC on Tuesday!

What was she on???

Michelle was serving as host for the Sunglass Hut launch of a New Store Experience and Redesign yesterday in Soho.

Midway through the event, while in the middle of an interview, Michelle fainted!

Somewhat of a frenzy occurred, as no one knew what happened.

Though, unlike many others, Trachtenberg stayed committed to her duties as host.

She got right back up and stayed for the whole event!

Let's hope she goes to the doctor soon for a check up though, just in case.

Aside from passing out, it seems she had a good evening. She was outfitted in a Dianne Von Furstenberg dress, trying on several sunglasses, and probably taking home a ton of freebie glasses.

B---h!

Just Like Oprah!



Madonna love for and commitment to Malawi is deep!

Not only did she adopt her son, David, from there and she just finished a documentary about the country, but…

Reuters reports that Madge plans to build a girl's school in Malawi, just like the $40 million girls academy Oprah opened in South Africa.

M's lawyer said that a task force of 4 prominent Malawians have been tapped to spearhead the project and that the real costs of the multi-million dollar project will be known within the next 2 weeks.

Construction is slated to start some time this year.

Good to see her Madgesty giving back generously to little David Banda's home country.

As a side note, the Malawian government is supposed to make its final ruling on Madonna's adoption of David on Thursday.

She's Got A New Job!



We can stop the speculating.

Since her acrimonious departure from Elle magazine, Nina Garcia has been on the hunt for a new job.

Where has she landed?

The Project Runway judge will be joining Marie Claire as fashion director in September!

As of now, there's no word about Marie Claire replacing Elle as the official mag/partner of Project Runway.

We knew Nina would land on her feet!

[Image via WENN.]

Exploiting The Dead



Is someone looking for past due child support or just some free publicity?

Reports are surfacing that an "alleged" Marlon Brando illegitimate child has come forward.

Rachel Anjel Brando, a 30 year old pop singer, is claiming that Brando impregnated her Polynesian mother and then disappeared from their lives.

Uhm, interesting. BUT…..

Why wait 30 years to make it public that he's your father?

Could it be that she wants some publicity to make it past the "aspiring" singer stage?

Rachel claims, "I understand my father wanted me far from the U.S. for fear of someone finding out he once again had a child out of wedlock."

Right.

She adds, "I was a bastard, fruit of a short-lived story between my mother and my father. For her it was the big love of her life, for him, just another girl he wanted to seduce amongst so many others."

To these allegations, the executor of Marlon's estate, movie producer Mike Medavoy, says, "I have no idea who she is or what she's doing. I'm just afraid she's using the name to raise money."

Maybe he's right!

Can't we just leave the dead to rest in peace?

Drowning Her Sorrows



Poor Jugs!

Jessica Simpson reportedly got good and wasted the day John Meyer "went public" with that thing he's having with Jennifer Aniston.

Jess was said to be very upset about John - not Tony Romo, the guy who JUST dumped her.

Romo supposedly dumped Simpson because she never really got over Mayer.

A tore up Jess dived into a 4 hour drinking session last week at Mexicali Cocina Cantina in L.A. to numb the pain she was feeling. Joining her was BFF Cacee Cobb and Cobb's boy, Scrubs actor Donald Faison.

Simpson got so plastered that she had to call her mom, Tina, for a ride home. (Thankfully she didn't drink and drive).

Cobb was reportedly shitfaced too, so she couldn't motor Jessica home. Cacee was SO drunk that she barfed under the table they were at.

Classy!

[Image via WENN.]

She's Single, Ladies!



Sad news for Jodie Foster.

As we mentioned almost two months ago, Jodie was being spotted out and about without her film producer girlfriend Cyndey Bernard.

Jodie recently spent Easter Sunday on the beach in Hawaii with her children and Cydney was nowhere to be found.

Now, reports are that the pair have split.

Bummer!

The couple have two kids together - Charles, who's nine, and six year-old Kit.

A source close to the couple is stating, "Jodie's break up with Cydney is shocking. She and Cydney have been together for so many years and have two children together - the potential fallout and legal wrangling from this could be monumental."

We hope it doesn't gets ugly!

Jodie and Cyndey have been together for over 15 years.

Wonder why the split?

Another woman??????

What do U think was the reason?

[Images via Celebrity Babylon.]

The Search For America's Next Tranny



And yet another reality show in the works.

But…..this is probably something we'd watch!

Logo just announced a new competition reality show titled RuPaul’s Drag Race.

The series will consist of six, one hour episodes and is expected to air early next year.

One lucky contestant will be able to compete for a spot on the series by signing up to the show's site, RuPaulsDragRace.com, with online votes determining the winner.

RuPaul will not only be the host, but will also be the contestants' mentor along with judge.

RuPaul = Tyra Banks???

Each contestant will be allowed to bring one stylist (or friend) with them to the competition to help them with their challenges.

No fair!

Contestants will compete for the title of top drag queen.

RuPaul jokes, “Tell Tyra that the Queen has returned, and while you’re at it have Heidi clear the runway. I’m going to pump some ‘realness’ into reality. To be a winner on this show the contestants need to be a fashion designer, an American Idol, and a top model all rolled up into one. And they definitely have to be smarter than a fifth grader.”

Nice job plugging all the major shows.

Will U watch the show?

You know there's going to be some major Divas fighting to be the center of attention.

Perez needs to make a cameo!

[Image via WENN.]

No Love in India



The Mike Myers-fronted comedy flick Love Guru may be banned in India.

What'd he do????

Hindu groups in the country have reportedly requested that India's Central Board of Film Certification and the Ministry of Information and Broadcasting ban screenings of the picture in India.

About % of India's population are Hindu.

In March, U.S.-based Universal Society of Hinduism president Rajan Zed was one of the first to protest the film when he said it "appears to be lampooning Hinduism."

However, an official with India's Central Board of Film Certification says they have yet to receive a formal ban request from any of the country's Hindu groups.

Uhmmm….

Isn't a comedy supposed to lampoon????

Crack and Smack



Pete Doherty played his first post-prison gig in London on Tuesday night at the Kentish Town Forum.

His good friend Amy Winehouse was at the gig to show some 'support'!

Ahh, reunited…and it feels so good!

After the gig, Doperty and his crew headed to Amy's for some afterhours 'fun.'

Wonder where they got their party favors?

You know the popo are watching their regular drug dealers with eagle eyes!

[Image via WENN.]

What Would Johnny Say???



Remember 21 Jump Street, the 's undercover cop TV show that introduced the world to the magnificence that is Johnny Depp?

Well…according to reports, Superbad star Jonah Hill is in negotiations to develop a movie adaptation of the show!

Jonah Hill????

Let's hope he doesn't ruin star in it!

Hill's going to write the screenplay and serve as an exec. producer, but it's not clear if he'll make an appearance in the movie.

Neal Moritz of I Am Legend and 21 Jump Street co-creator Stephen J. Cannell will produce.

Sadly, we're not expecting Johnny Depp to make an appearance. Do you?

Johnny's too um, seasoned, to re-visit his past this way, right?

And, this announcement proves once and for all that originality is officially dead in Hollywoodland!

WTF?



This better be a joke!!!!!

Her music "career" failed in the U.S., so now she's giving it a go in the U.K.!

On Friday, Brooke Hogan is scheduled to open for UK super girlgroup Girls Aloud at London's O2 Arena.

Why? Why???? WHY?

Girls Aloud is HUGE. They can pick almost anyone they want to open for them!

We just don't get it.

Why Brooke????

Maybe they were thinking: "If we get a really shitty opening act, everyone will love us THAT MUCH MORE when we go on."

Yeah, if they haven't walked out by then!

Not Going To Jail



Amy Winehouse was arrested last week, in relation to that crack smoking video of hers earlier this year.

Well, police have decided NOT to pursue any further action against the troubled singer!

A spokeswhore for Wino released the following statement Wednesday morning:

"Police have confirmed that no action will be taken against Amy Winehouse in relation to an investigation into a video handed to them in January.

She was questioned by policelast week and released on unconditional bail. They have now concluded their enquiries and no charges will be brought. Amy’s bail date to return toLimehouse police station has been cancelled, bringing this matter to an end.

Amy is pleased to be able to move on and concentrate on music and particularly looks forward to seeing herfans again at eagerly awaited festival performances this summer."

Bummer. They should have taken her to trial and forced her into rehab!

[Image via WENN.]

Spending Her Money Already



We hope Nick Carey has a good accountant. The barely working actor is spending money like it grows on trees!

The newlywed rented out Six Flags Magic Mountain in Valencia, California, on Tuesday night for a lavish party to celebrate his nuptials to Mariah.

Yes, he had the park close down in the evening just for the bash!

That must have cost mucho dinero.

Friends and family, almost all of who couldn't make it to their island wedding, were invited to celebrate with the couple.

The park was decorated with pink and purple balloons, M.C.C.'s signature colors.

Let's hope Mimi gets knocked up before the divorce comes!

A Tiny Bump In The Road

OK ... so maybe driving isn't really her strong suit. Britney Spears was involved in, yet another, eensy weensy vehicular accident on Sunset Blvd. this week when she kinda sorta rear-ended a Ford Explorer with her white Mercedes of death. Here are a few pics of Brit's latest fender bender:


Photo credit: X17

The good news is that no one was injured ... it's also good that she didn't flee the scene of the crime without talking to the other party (you may recall that Britney was involved in a hit and run with another car in a parking lot last year ... which hounded her for months afterwards). Now, it's perfectly normal for these sorts of things to happen -- they can really happen to anyone. There is no cause for concern ... this is not the return of "crazy Britney" it's just a minor traffic infraction ... yeah ... that's it ... nothing more to worry about ... I'm sure.

Unlucky In Lurve

Poor Jessica Simpson. That girl just cannot catch a break when it comes to finding true love. US Weekly is reporting that Jess was seen drowning her sorrows at Mexicali Cocina Cantina with her former assistant and current BFF CaCee Cobb on May 10th ... right around the time that photos came out of her ex-boyfriend John Mayer getting extremely amorous with Jennifer Aniston down in Miami, FL ... poor thing:



The new issue of Us Weekly, on newsstands Friday, reports that Jessica Simpson got good and drunk as John Mayer, the guy who broke her heart, went public with his new relationship with Jennifer Aniston last week. The 27-year-old singer was so out of it after a four-hour session of drinking at L.A.'s Mexicali Cocina Cantina on May 10 – which started at the pre-happy hour of 4 p.m. with BFF CaCee Cobb and her beau Donald Faison – that she was reduced to leaving her Range Rover in the parking lot and calling her mom Tina for a ride home, Us reports (for good measure, CaCee Cobb threw up under the table) ... Across the country, Mayer and Aniston went public with their relationship – holding hands and kissing affectionately at the Marley & Me cast party in Miami.

As if the photos of Mayerton sparking up a new romance weren't bad enough, at the time, Jessica wasn't even aware that her most current boyfriend Tony Romo was off partying with his boys in Chicago, IL and was overheard telling everyone in earshot that he and Jessica were dunzo ... well, surely she's heard about that by now ... which means the folks at Mexicali Cocina Cantina better clear a table for Jessica (and a bucket for CaCee) cuz I suspect there may some more boozin' to come ... especially when you consider that her younger (and more successful) sister Ashlee Simpson is rumored to be getting married to Pete Wentz this weekend. OY! Bless her broken heart.